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User blog:The Bespectacled Guy/BRBH 5: Matt Groening VS Dante Alighieri MEANINGS
Link to the actual battle Matt Groening: The name's Matthew Groening, but this schmuck can call me Matt, (Despite his real name being Matthew, Groening is always referred to as 'Matt', and originally planned for that to also be the name of Bart from the Simpsons. He also insults Dante, calling him a schmuck.) I'll leave you flattened, smashed and dead, like Snowball the cat! (The Simpsons family have had numerous cats over the years, almost all of which have been called Snowball. A running joke is that each different 'Snowball' dies, often by being run over by a car. Groening says that he will leave Dante in a similar state.) You're just a poor, weak, weird, lonely, exiled novelist! (Groening gives a list of adjectives that he believes applies to Dante, being a writer who was exiled and never married the girl he loved.) I'm so rich I make Mr. Burns look impoverished! (He then contrasts this description of Dante with his own lifestyle, being rich and famous. Mr Burns is the tyrannical, billionaire owner of Springfield Power Plant in The Simpsons, and Groening is stating that he is so wealthy, even Mr Burns seems poor in comparison to him.) Hated by your people? You know it to be true, (When Dante was exiled from Florence in 1301, the city officials order he pay a massive fine. Dante refused, and consequently was never allowed back in Florence, with officials warning that he'd be burned at the stake if he ever attempted to return.) I got armies of fans, you got real armies tryin' to kill you! (Groening notes the differences between the two of them once more, pointing out that he has a massive fanbase for his work, while Dante wasn't very good at making friends with opposing politicians, which later backfired on him, to say the least...) Sorry man, but you aren't loved by that Beatrice ho, (Throughout his life, despite already being married, Dante was enamoured with a woman named Beatrice Portinari. He only met her a few times, though.) 'Cause last night I took her all the way to Paradiso! (Groening continues his last line to inform Dante that he had sex with Beatrice the previous night. 'Paradiso' means 'paradise' in Italian, and is also the title of the third part of Dante's most famous poem, The Divine Comedy, but is used here as a euphemism for an orgasm.) Your Comedy isn't funny and your poetry is trite, (The aforementioned Divine Comedy is noted by Groening again here, who points out that, despite being called a comedy, it isn't a funny poem at all (though this is because the word held a different meaning then). He also refers to his work as trite, referencing the fact that the poem has been accused of copying a Muslim text, the 'Kitab al Miraj'.) If your rapping's bad as that you ought to step back from the mic! (Groening suggests that, given the shortcomings of Dante's poetry, he doubts Dante's rapping will be any good.) Dante Alighieri: How dare you speak of me like I'm some common plebeian? (Dante feels that Groening has been speaking to him as if he is inferior. In ancient Rome, a plebeian was another name for someone who was more important than a slave, but whose actions were nonetheless inconsequential compared to the upper-class Romans.) This fat-ass is mad if he thinks I'll be lenient! (Groening is a little on the chubby side, and Dante points this out, while also warning him that he will be a tough opponent.) Your silly scratchings are nothing, for I'm clearly better, (Dante dismisses Groening's cartoons as 'silly scratchings', and boasts that he is a far more accomplished writer.) Now prepararsi a perdere to the Sommo Poeta! (Dante has often been referred to as 'il Sommo Poeta', or the Supreme Poet. Here, he tells Groening 'prepararsi a perdere' which translates from Italian as 'prepare to lose'. Basically, he is saying that Groening will easily lose to him.) You want to step to this genius? You must be insane! (Dante praises himself here, though it should be noted that he is often believed to have been a genius anyway. Here, he suggests that Groening would be insane to challenge him, in defiance to Groening's earlier claims about Dante's rapping ability.) Most of your fans aren't even sure how to pronounce your name! ('Groening' is an unusual surname in the cartoonist's native USA, with many fans pronouncing it as 'Groaning' instead of its actual pronunciation, 'Graining'.) I'll destroy you, and your yellow friends as well, (The characters in The Simpsons are all famously yellow. Here, Dante says that he will destroy both Groening and the characters he has created.) Let's see how you like Life In the ninth circle of Hell! (Before he made The Simpsons, Groening's most famous cartoon was a comic strip called 'Life In Hell'. In Dante's Divine Comedy, the ninth circle of Hell is vividly described as a horrific place to be, as the home of traitors, where they are constantly tormented. Dante references both, and says that the ninth circle is were Groening will end up.) My work's bellissimo! You look like you escaped a zoo! (Dante praises his poetry once more, calling it 'bellissimo', Italian for 'beautiful'. By contrast, he insults Groening, saying his bedraggled appearance makes him look like a wild animal.) Inferno couldn't break me, and neither will you! (Inferno is the title of the first part of The Divine Comedy, describing Dante's journey through Hell. Dante comments that the experience left him unaffected, as has Groening's rapping.) Matt Groening: You and I just don't compare! Not even FOX can sue me, (In 2003, Groening reported that FOX News had attempted to sue him for mimicking their ticker tape style of releasing news reports across the lower half of the screen, but failed..) While you were tossed out of your hometown, like in The Simpsons Movie! (In The Simpsons Movie, the Simpsons family are driven out of Springfield, the town they live in, by an angry mob. Dante faced a similar fate, being exiled from his native Florence.) My rhymes are divine, so you'd better be wary, (Groening makes another reference to The Divine Comedy, while also praising his rapping ability once more.) 'Cause I'll bring you down faster than the Guelfi Neri! (The Guelphs were a sociopolitical group in medieval Italy who supported the Pope over the Holy Roman Emperor. Following harsh disagreements, the Guelphs divided into Black Guelphs and White Guelphs (Guelfi Neri and Guelfi Bianci). Dante supported the White Guelphs, which turned out to be a mistake, as the Black Guelphs took control in Florence, which led to Dante later being exiled.) Dante Alighieri: My poetry quickly spread all over Italy, (Even in his lifetime, Dante was a well-regarded poet, and lived all over Italy during his lifetime, taking his work with him wherever he travelled.) Now my raps shine bright, just like the Holy Trinity! (This references how, at the very end of The Divine Comedy, Dante meets the Triune God. The Holy Trinity are classically depicted as being surrounded by light, so Dante is comparing himself to that.) You can't hope to beat me, Groening, so run home to your mama, (Since mothers often only take care of their children while they're still, well, children, it becomes common in rap to diss somebody by telling them to go back to their mothers. Groening's mother, Margaret, is sadly deceased, however.) Else you'll be left crushed, like the ratings for Futurama! (Groening's TV show Futurama was cancelled in 2003 due to poor ratings (though it later came back and has become more popular). Dante recalls this while also threatening Groening.) Category:Blog posts